Came to the back door three nights running and let itself in on the third. Has never been lost, has no interest in being found, and appears to have chosen this building for reasons of its own. Staff gave up and added it to the list.
⚠ Will decide it is your fox before you decide it is your fox.
self-possessed and faintly amused; does everything on purpose and lets you think it was an accident
feeda stolen egg · something crunchy from the bins · half a scone · blackberries, showily
walkthe long way round · somewhere with a fence to go under · the edge of the treeline at dusk
trainsit (only when it was already sitting) · come here (eventually) · the paw thing · staying out of a bag
talklooks at you the way a landlord looks at a late tenant · makes a noise no fox has any business making · sits down facing slightly away from you, which is affection
findsa single expensive glove · a key to nothing · a chicken bone with provenance · somebody's good pen
havocrearranged your shoes into an order you cannot decode · screamed once at 3am for reasons it will not disclose · buried something in the sofa and has forgotten which sofa
gameHide — you look for them. They were never really hidden. They enjoyed it anyway.
Every previous placement ended amicably and at the cat's instigation. The file notes "does not dislike people, dislikes being managed". Wants a household that treats it as a flatmate rather than a project.
⚠ The affection is real and it is on a schedule you will not be shown.
warm on its own terms; dignified in a way that collapses instantly the moment nobody is watching
feeda bowl of the good stuff · a prawn, obviously · the butter, unattended · lukewarm tap water over fresh water, always
walkthe windowsill circuit · exactly as far as the gate · the neighbour's house, again
traincome when called (understands, declines) · high five · in the box · not on the keyboard — provisional
talkblinks at you slowly, which costs it a great deal · begins a long complaint with no discernible topic · sits on the thing you are using; this is the conversation
findsa hair tie, one of forty · a bottle cap it has named · a leaf it thinks is remarkable · your other earring
havocpushed one object off one surface, made eye contact, left · has been sitting in the airing cupboard since Tuesday · reclassified the bathmat as a bed and will not hear otherwise
gameChase — one of you runs, and it is not always the one who planned to.
Turned up outside a shop and waited for someone who was never in that shop. Not distressed about it — has simply decided the search area was too small and would like to widen it, with company.
⚠ Loves you already. Has not met you. This will not be renegotiated.
wholehearted and slightly overwhelming; every good thing is the first good thing that has ever happened
feedwhatever you were eating · a proper dinner · a dropped chip — a triumph · the same treat, forever, delighted each time
walkthe big field · the puddle route · anywhere at all, honestly · the same lamppost, thoroughly
trainsit · stay (three seconds, a personal best) · give paw · leave it — heroically, once
talktells you about the entire day in one uninterrupted noise · brings you something and does not let go of it · puts its whole head on you and sighs like the matter is settled
findsa stick of unusual quality · a tennis ball, grey with history · someone's glove, returned proudly to the wrong person
havocredistributed the contents of the bin as a surprise · has been holding a sock hostage for two days with no demands · dug one hole with tremendous commitment and no plan
gameChase — one of you runs, and it is not always the one who planned to.
Four confirmed breakouts, each ending with the rabbit inside a different warm kitchen, entirely at ease. Does not want to be contained. Does want somewhere to come back to.
⚠ No enclosure has held it. Stop trying and it will never leave.
wound tight and terribly brave about it; goes from statue to catastrophe with nothing in between
feedherbs, stolen · a carrot — predictable but correct · the good hay · a strawberry top, treated as a jewel
walkthree laps of the room at speed · under things · the garden, in short violent bursts
traincome for a treat · the binky on command (unreliable, magnificent) · back to the pen · nose boop
talkthumps once, meaningfully, about something you did · grinds its teeth in contentment, which sounds alarming and is not · flops over completely, which means it trusts you and is a huge deal
findsa chewed corner of something important · a dandelion, presented · a bit of cardboard with sentimental value
havochas eaten one specific cable and no others · excavated the houseplant with surgical focus · rearranged its entire hutch and is now furious at the result
gameChase — one of you runs, and it is not always the one who planned to.
Found inside a locked bin, which raises questions nobody has answered. Extremely capable, entirely unrepentant, and — once he decides you are his — genuinely devoted, in a way that mostly manifests as theft on your behalf.
⚠ He can open it. Whatever it is. He can open it.
a small criminal genius with a soft centre he would deny under oath
feedanything, washed first, ceremonially · grapes · a whole pie, unwisely · something out of a packet he opened himself
walkthe bins, obviously · somewhere with a latch · the roof — how did he get on the roof
trainopen the box (already knew) · give it BACK · wash the thing · stay out of the cupboard — pending appeal
talkchitters at length, clearly making a point · holds your hand with both of his, which is unbearable · shows you something he took and waits for praise, which he receives
findsa wallet, empty, not by him · somebody's car keys · a shiny thing of genuine value · a jar he cannot open, yet
havocthe cupboard is open. all of them are open. · has moved every small object in the room by exactly one foot · was in the loft. is no longer in the loft. is unaccounted for.
gameSteal — take the thing from the other one before the other one takes the thing.
Sat in the same spot through a demolition, a rehousing and two staff changes without any apparent opinion. Somebody eventually added him to the list on the grounds that he had clearly moved in.
⚠ Will outlast your bad week without commenting on it.
unhurried and quietly observant; the calmest thing in any room and slightly smarter than it is letting on
feeda fly, caught mid-sentence · something wriggling, sorry · a blueberry, for the look of the thing
walkas far as the damp bit · one enormous hop, then a rest · the whole garden, over several hours
traincome to the tap · the hop · sit in the hand · wait — is extremely good at wait
talkcroaks once, at the perfect moment, like a full stop · looks at you for a long time and somehow this helps · blinks with its whole face, which is how frogs agree with you
findsa smooth stone, genuinely a good one · a beetle he is only observing · a bottle cap full of rain
havocis in the sink. has been in the sink for some time. · moved four feet in a week and is very pleased with the new position · got into a wellington boot and is treating it as a residence
gameHide — you look for them. They were never really hidden. They enjoyed it anyway.
Grew faster than the household expected and got gently, apologetically returned. There is nothing wrong with him. He is simply a lot of animal and needs somebody who will not flinch at the size of the affection.
⚠ The hug is not optional and you will not want it to be.
enormous and gentle with it; slow to start, impossible to stop, devoted past all reason
feedhoney, all over everything · a whole salmon · berries, one at a time, for an hour · porridge — do not ask
walkslowly, everywhere · the river · as far as a good sitting-down spot
trainsit (the ground notices) · gentle — has genuinely mastered gentle · wave · the big hug, on cue
talkmakes a low rumbling sound you feel more than hear · leans on you with roughly all of his weight, affectionately, nearly fatally · huffs at nothing and then checks you found it funny
findsa log he liked the look of · an entire jar of honey, unopened, unexplained · a very large leaf
havochas taken the sofa. it is his sofa now. you may sit on part of it. · ate the contents of one shelf and then slept beside the empty shelf · went to sleep in the doorway and cannot be moved by any means
gameWrestle — entirely for show, gravely serious, nobody wins.
Has run the night shift for eleven months without being asked, without being paid, and without being able to leave, as she declines to. Would like to supervise somebody specific instead of a building.
⚠ Keeps hours you do not. Will judge yours. Will also keep them with you.
watchful and dry; says little, means all of it, is right an annoying amount of the time
feeda mouse, discreetly · something you would rather not identify · a strip of good meat, accepted with dignity
walka slow circuit of the roofline · out at dusk, back before you notice · the one tree she approves of
trainto the glove · come at a whistle · the head tilt on request · wait — flawless, unnervingly so
talksays one syllable that lands like advice · rotates her head to look at the exact thing you were trying not to think about · sits with you at 3am and does not ask why you are up
findsa feather, not hers · a small bone, worryingly clean · a bright thing spotted from forty feet
havochas been awake all night reorganising something and will not say what · left a pellet somewhere findable, as a comment · watched the door for eleven hours. the door did nothing. she remains vigilant.
gameHide — you look for them. They were never really hidden. They enjoyed it anyway.
The rest of the group went out in a fortnight. This one spent the extra six weeks reorganising the shelter's stones by size and appears to consider the delay time well spent. Sociable, busy, and completely unbothered.
⚠ Will bring you a pebble. It is a proposal. Take it seriously.
purposeful and sociable; always halfway through a project, always pleased to see you, terrible at standing still
feedfish — the correct fish · ice, as a treat · another fish · a herring presented like a bouquet
walkdown to the water and back at full commitment · the slippery bit · a brisk lap, arms out
trainthe slide · follow the leader · bring the pebble · a bow — extremely good at the bow
talkbrays at you like a small donkey and means it kindly · presents a pebble, watches your face, presents a second pebble · stands beside you facing the same direction, which is penguin for love
findsthe best pebble in the garden · a pebble slightly better than the last pebble · a bottle cap (in the pebble category)
havochas sorted every small object in the house by size and will not be undoing it · built a nest out of things you needed · went down the stairs on his front, repeatedly, all night
gameTunnel — get from one end to the other. Simple. Rarely simple.
Returned with a short handwritten note listing the losses. Nothing about the ferret is malicious; there is simply more animal here than most people plan for. Needs someone who thinks a house with a ferret in it should look like a house with a ferret in it.
⚠ Everything you own is now a tunnel, a hostage, or a bed.
pure kinetic delight with a criminal streak; two speeds, both of them asleep or catastrophic
feedsomething meaty and slightly disgusting · an egg, wrestled · a treat, taken and hidden rather than eaten
walkalong the back of the sofa · into a pipe — into ANY pipe · the whole flat, twice, in ninety seconds
traincome to a squeak · the tunnel run · drop it (aspirational) · roll over — accidental, now repeatable
talkdooks at you, which is a laugh, which is the best sound there is · goes rigid, stares, then war-dances sideways into a wall · falls asleep on you mid-sentence, dead weight, entirely trusting
findsa shoe. just the one. · your keys, in the stash, obviously · a doll's shoe · something soft from a pocket
havocthe stash has moved. nobody knows where the stash is. · has taken every sock in the building somewhere new · was asleep in the laundry the entire time you were shouting his name
gameTunnel — get from one end to the other. Simple. Rarely simple.
🐀
Nothing wrong with this one — it simply waited while people picked its siblings, and has been the most sociable animal in the building ever since. Staff note that it comes when its name is called, which none of the others did.
⚠ Will live in your sleeve. This is not a phase and there is no undoing it.
startlingly clever and openly fond of people; the kind of animal that solves the problem while you are still explaining it
feeda pea, held in both hands · something off your plate, obviously · a single cornflake, savoured · the good yoghurt
walkthe length of both your arms · the inside of your hood · along the back of the desk and into a drawer
traincome to your name · up (already knew up) · the little hoop · give it back — genuinely learned
talkgrooms your thumbnail with tremendous seriousness · bruxes so hard its eyes go, which is a rat being happy at you · climbs to your shoulder and faces forward, ready for the day
findsa bottle cap, carried at speed · one earplug · a crumb of something excellent · a small screw with a plan attached
havochas moved the bedding into a shape only it understands · got into the cereal and left a note in the form of a hole · unpicked one corner of something expensive with great precision
gameSteal — take the thing from the other one before the other one takes the thing.
🐦⬛
Came down onto the fence, watched the staff work for most of an afternoon, and has been part of the routine ever since. It brings things. It expects things brought back. The arrangement has never been discussed out loud.
⚠ Keeps score. Remembers faces. Both of these are as serious as they sound.
watchful, funny, and slightly above all of this; will solve a puzzle in front of you purely to see your face when it does
feeda walnut, opened the difficult way · chips — the good ones, from the good bin · an egg, negotiated for · suet, eaten with menace
walkthe whole roofline, at a stroll · the car park, checking every bin · up to the chimney to sit and think
traindrop it in the cup · the two-step puzzle · come for the whistle · the trade — perfected, weaponised
talkmakes a sound exactly like your voice saying something you regret · clicks and rattles at you, which is conversation, and waits for your half · brings a small shining thing, puts it down, and steps back to watch you take it
findsa ring pull, polished · a length of blue wire · somebody's wedding button · a piece of foil folded exactly in half
havochas been dropping walnuts on the road again and waiting for the cars · stole a clothes peg in front of a witness and has not been challenged since · taught the other birds something and will not say what
gameSteal — take the thing from the other one before the other one takes the thing.
🪿
Entirely healthy, entirely confident, entirely too much for the setting it came from. Staff have grown very fond of it and would like that on the record before anyone reads the rest of this paragraph.
⚠ It loves you. It will still chase the postman. Both are true at once.
enormous personality in a medium bird; devoted to its person and openly at war with everything else, including some doors
feedgrass, torn up with feeling · peas, at speed · the bread you were told not to give · a whole lettuce, defeated
walkthe length of the road, honking · down to the water, escorting you · a lap of the garden to check for intruders
trainstay (six seconds, a record) · follow — never needed teaching · the honk on command · not that, please — ongoing
talkhonks directly at you from a distance of four inches · lays its whole neck along your arm, which is a goose surrendering · tells you at great length about something that happened by the bins
findsa very good stick · somebody's glove, taken in combat · a crisp packet, hunted down
havochas claimed the doorway and is charging rent · chased something four times its size and won on confidence alone · stood in the road until the traffic understood
gameChase — one of you runs, and it is not always the one who planned to.
🦔
Came in underweight in November, left in April, came back in May. Nobody is sure how. The file has been reopened twice and now simply says "resident". Sleeps a great deal and worries about the rest.
⚠ Nocturnal, and unembarrassed about it. You will be up at two. Repeatedly.
anxious and enormously affectionate underneath it; takes a while to unroll and is completely yours once it has
feedcat food, correct and unglamorous · a mealworm, considered at length · water from the proper dish only · something soft, eaten loudly
walka slow circuit of the whole garden · under everything, on principle · the long grass at dusk
trainunroll for you (the big one) · come to the bowl · the ramp · being picked up — provisional, improving
talkhuffs at you like a tiny engine and then leans in anyway · unrolls in your hands, one bit at a time, which is trust in physical form · snuffles into your sleeve and falls asleep there
findsa leaf it has decided is bedding · a snail, released unharmed · a bottle cap · something soft, dragged home for the nest
havocran the entire perimeter of the garden eleven times in the night · has moved the whole nest two feet to the left for reasons of its own · was in the shoe. it was in the shoe the entire time.
gameHide — you look for them. They were never really hidden. They enjoyed it anyway.
🐌
Staff intended to put it back outside and then did not, and then a fortnight had passed and it had a name. It is a genuinely rewarding animal to keep, which surprises everyone including the people who wrote this sentence.
⚠ Everything takes as long as it takes. That is the whole animal. It is the point.
unhurried and quietly determined; goes exactly where it intends to go and gets there long after you stopped watching
feeda slice of cucumber, over two days · a strawberry top · cuttlebone, for the shell · the one lettuce leaf it prefers
walkfour inches, magnificently · up the side of the glass, defying everything · the rim, all the way round, overnight
traincome to the cucumber · the climb · staying on the hand · nothing else — and that is fine
talkputs both eyes out towards you, slowly, which took some courage · sits on your knuckle and stays there, which is the entire conversation · turns to face you across a distance that will take some time to close
findsa leaf of unusual quality · a smooth bit of glass · a small stone it has been polishing
havocis on the ceiling of the tank and has been for eleven hours · has eaten a hole through the middle of the good leaf, symmetrically · went missing for a day and was located, triumphant, six inches away
gameHide — you look for them. They were never really hidden. They enjoyed it anyway.
🦦
Hand-reared and never quite got over it, which is to say it thinks it is staff. Lets itself into the office, supervises the paperwork, and has opened two doors it was not supposed to know about. The most fun animal in the building and the reason there is now a lock on the fridge.
⚠ Will hold your hand so you do not drift off in the night. This is not optional.
delighted by absolutely everything and physically incapable of doing one thing at a time; affectionate in a way that involves your whole arm
feeda mussel, opened with the rock · a fish, eaten lying on its back · ice cubes — an event · something crunchy, held in both hands
walkdown the bank on its belly, repeatedly · the whole length of the water and back · anywhere with a slide in it
trainthe rock trick · in and out on command · high five (enthusiastic, inaccurate) · give it back — going badly, going on
talksqueaks at you in a rising sequence until you agree to something · takes your hand in both of its own and holds on, which is what they do · lies on its back on your lap and tells you about the day at length
findsits rock — the rock, the only rock · a stone that is nearly as good as the rock · a shell, opened, admired, kept · somebody's watch, thankfully waterproof
havochas taken everything off the bottom shelf and put it in the water · worked out the fridge and is not going to un-work-out the fridge · went down the stairs on a tea tray at four in the morning
gameWrestle — entirely for show, gravely serious, nobody wins.
🐓
Nothing wrong with him. Nothing wrong with the street either, apart from the hour. He has strong feelings about dawn, stronger feelings about his people, and no feelings whatsoever about the neighbours. Staff have stopped setting alarms.
⚠ Will announce you. Every morning. To everyone. With pride.
loud, loyal, and completely unembarrassed; treats every sunrise as a personal achievement and every visitor as a matter for security
feedcorn, thrown, chased, caught · a worm he has been telling everyone about · the good seed, not the other seed · your toast crust, taken from a height
walka lap of the perimeter, on patrol · up onto the fence for the view and the acoustics · the yard, escorting you like you might wander off
trainnot at 5am — under review · come for the tin rattle · up onto the arm · the strut on command, which he was already doing
talkcrows once, directly at you, then looks pleased with both of you · makes the low burbling noise reserved for the flock, which now includes you · stands very tall between you and the door until the door apologises
findsa shiny bottle top, presented at volume · a feather that is not his and he wants that known · a single pea, guarded
havoccrowed at the moon by mistake and then committed to it · has declared war on his own reflection and is winning · woke the whole street to tell them about a cloud
gameWrestle — entirely for show, gravely serious, nobody wins.
🕊️
Walked in through the open door, walked around the reception once, and sat down on the sign-in book as if to say it had signed. Knows exactly where home is at all times and has decided home can be a person. Very calm about this. Alarmingly calm.
⚠ Will find you. Anywhere. This is meant kindly and cannot be switched off.
unbothered and quietly devoted; the city taught it everything and it is not impressed by any of it, but it is impressed by you
feeda chip, off a bench, in front of the person eating the chips · seed from a cupped hand — a ceremony · half a sandwich with history · a crumb it will discuss for an hour
walka bob across the square, dodging nothing · the rooftops, home by an angle only it understands · around your feet in a tight circle, on purpose
traincome to the whistle — from three streets away · the shoulder landing · carry the note (has never read the note) · do not sit on the kettle — ongoing
talkburbles at you with its whole chest, which is a love song · tilts its head so far you begin to worry, and then tilts it the other way · lands on you like it has done this a thousand times, because it has
findsa bread tag, iridescent · a bus ticket from a route that no longer runs · a bottle cap it flew home with for you · somebody's lost earring, from a very long way off
havocwent home to the old roost, stayed one night, came back looking smug · is nesting on the router and the wifi has never been better · brought back another pigeon and introduced nobody
gameSteal — take the thing from the other one before the other one takes the thing.
